COVID-19 Updates - How I’m doing.
Fair warning: this one’s a little heavy.
I didn’t start my business with the intention of it growing into what it is today. I remember standing in our kitchen saying to Marc with a twinkle in my eye, dancing on my tippy toes with my hands clasped, hugging them to my chest under my chin, “Who knows! Maybe a few people will even pay me to take their pictures one day.”
Months later, after the first couple of shoots went so well and I was falling in love with this new path, we were back in the kitchen where all our serious conversations happen. I was jabbering away about camera settings, Marc pretending to pay attention, and at the end I said, “You know what? I think I could DO THIS. Like, make a living doing this.”
I clearly remember him asking me in a careful tone with his eyes averted to the side and down, clearing his throat a little before speaking, “Uh, hmmm, so do you think you could maybe make a thousand dollars a month or so doing this?”
My answer: “I don’t know.”
I couldn’t quite hide how my whole being deflated in answering that carefully placed but loaded question. The intention was clear: he didn’t want me to get hurt when I realized how much work it would be…and failed. At the time, the numbers were clear and the outlook wasn’t good.
Because you are here today following me years later, you know what happens next: years of hard work, passion, blood sweat and tears. I did it! I became talented, successful, sought after and desired in a saturated market. I have a fancy new website, logo, and brand colors. I am working towards educational materials so people can learn to take better pictures. The first round of COVID happened and it hurt…oh it hurt. Plans for growth would have to wait but I kept my positive mindset and focused my energy on all the things I don’t normally have time for with the full weight of my business working at full speed. It was nice even to have a change of pace for a while. And, just as the flywheel was starting to turn again, faster and faster, picking up momentum again, we the wedding industry, had a wrench thrown in it once again.
For those of you not from Pennsylvania, our governor announced a new mandate yesterday to limit indoor gatherings to less than 25 people to avoid another spike of COVID outbreaks…to protect us. And so, we are once again, back to making difficult decisions about our upcoming weddings. And, it hurts.
Last night I was once again standing in my kitchen with the question echoing in my memory: “Do you think you can even make $1,000 a month doing this.” I can still see the way he shifted his feet uncomfortably as he said it….
And again, I answer: “I don’t know.”
And again, the outlook isn’t good.
In this moment of pain for my couples, for my fellow wedding professionals and business owners, I feel like I am right back in that space years ago and it hurts. Was my husband right all along? Maybe. In all my years of building this business, this is the very first day I can’t see a path and I question my choices. I can’t see which way is best. Do I keep pushing forward? Do I search for a new path? Do I sit and catch my breath for a while? WHAT?! What should I do!?!?!?
One thing I know for certain is that I am NOT in the same position I was years ago in our kitchen wondering if I can make it. It may feel that way but I am not. I KNOW I CAN and YOU CAN TOO. I am stronger and smarter than I ever gave myself credit for in the past and even though I don’t know where life is taking me at the moment, I sure as hell know that I’m not going to sit down and let it happen to me AND NEITHER WILL YOU. I’m going to take the next step AND SO WILL YOU. I’ll take a machete to the path in front of me if it’s not clear and I’ll keep living this amazing life I’ve been blessed with AND SO WILL YOU. The ONLY certainty there is in this life is that EVERYTHING will change. Nothing stays the same and WE WILL come out victorious and better off for this whole experience if we can be mindful enough to see the lessons learned from it and continue to live with kindness to others and mindful awareness of our own lives. And, as my favorite authors Marc and Angel Chernoff love to say, “You have made it through 100% of your difficult days so far.” So, for my couples and fellow wedding professionals, this might be a very hard day but remember:
You are stronger than you think, smarter than you know and WE WILL get through this.
I’ll be here. We will get through this TOGETHER.
For any of my clients with questions, please feel free to reach out via email.
XO – Megan