Cell Phones and Weddings | 4 Tips for Having Fewer Screens in Your Wedding Photos
We, as an American society, are immersed in a culture where cell phones are a monumental part of our lives. So much so that it is starting to not feel as intrusive and rude when people have cell phones out during a wedding ceremony. I used to get upset but I very honestly don’t anymore when I see them come out unless it is leaned out into the aisle in front of the bride blocking my (and the groom’s) view of her coming down the aisle (which does happen). Being in a job where I am constantly trying to capture every possible special moment for my clients…I GET IT. It is such a rush to capture that moment. To look at the pictures afterwards and say, “I got it! I DID THAT!”
Cell phones are everywhere, all the time and no one thinks twice about snapping “a quick photo” to share. It has become a culture-wide addiction to need to share every beautiful moment we encounter with the world and everyone we know. I struggle with this on a very real level being a photographer; and especially being a photographer with children. I find myself following my children around at the park with my cell phone so I can “show Daddy.” I see a beautiful sunset and I immediately pull out my phone to take a picture rather than just allowing the moment to live in my soul and warm me from the inside out. It’s a similar feeling when we see the bride coming down the aisle. It is like an addictive craving that must be scratched: we must take that picture of that heart-swelling, beautiful moment to share with the world.
A few of my brides are fine with it and don’t mind at all…and so then it’s fine with me too. Others, on the other hand, would be incredibly hurt and upset by seeing cell phones glowing in their down the aisle, first kiss, exit shots so here are a few tips to have fewer cell phones in your wedding photos (because let’s face it, no matter what you do, it is entirely possible Aunt Jane just won’t be able to restrain herself):
1. The first step is to display a sign at the entrance to the ceremony. What is key here is to place it in a place where guests MUST look before being seated…like where the programs are located to take one. Many signs are overlooked as guests chat with one another and look past them trying to scan for the perfect seat or for someone they know. So, if there is a way to make it more visible and readable, do it.
2. Have the officiant make an announcement that there are no photos allowed with cameras OR cell phones during the ceremony as per the couple’s wishes and that cell phones must be put away completely during the ceremony. If the phone is in their hands the chances of it being used go up about X 1,000. You can even have a basket passed around to put cell phones in until after the ceremony to drive it home.
These two steps (minus the basket) are done at most weddings and there are still cell phones galore.
Here is how to really make an impact:
3. CALL Aunt Jane the week before the wedding and tell her you know how much she loves taking pictures (and they are lovely pictures) but you are adamant about no pictures during the ceremony itself because you want her to be present there with you through the ceremony AND you don’t want cell phones in your professional photos….and because she is so into pictures, you’re sure she understands about getting that perfect shot! Plus, it would really hurt your feelings if she did. And, even though she won’t be able to take pictures during the ceremony she is more than welcome to take pictures the entire rest of the day….You get the idea.
4. Give your photographer permission to threaten *in a nice way* to take visible cell phones during the ceremony if we see them out.
Here’s how that looks when I’m your photographer: While I’m waiting for the ceremony to begin, I am typically standing at the ceremony site taking photos of the guests arriving and being seated. I can see the people at the aisle that have their phones out and at that point, while everyone is relaxing I make a casual, joking comment (with a big smile), “You DO know that Brittany gave me permission to take any cell phone I see out during the ceremony, right?” “I know, I know, that is SO Brittany!” Laughing…. “But, seriously, she would be really upset if she saw cell phones during the ceremony…just giving you fair warning. Enjoy the day!” There has only ever been one time that this didn’t work and the person did it anyway and Mother of the groom walked over and took the phone herself! I will have this little conversation with almost everyone seated at the aisle or who would be in the shot. And, no. I probably won’t have time to actually take anyone’s phone while you are walking down the aisle and I’m trying to photograph you but this works really well.
For the guests who try to “sneak” the picture from their lap, here’s what that looks like: instead of a side profile from behind of you looking at the bride coming down the aisle as it should be, you are looking at your crotch…and it just looks plain strange in the picture. Please look at the actual bride and not the bride on your phone in your crotch…yes, I meant to make that sound as creepy as it did…because come ON people!
For the guest in the back row holding your phone up to get the “kiss shot.”: I am also trying to get that kiss shot and even though you are in the back row, you are still in the shot….and actually the most visible in THIS shot so please just clap your hands with everyone else. Thank you.
Again, if my couple is fine with people taking cell phone pictures, I am too! I am simply going to support the wishes of my couple and do everything in my power to ensure their photos are everything they ever dreamed of.
As for our picture addition, the struggle is real! The next time you see that rainbow or perfect orange/red sunset that makes you reach for your phone. Just one time, don’t. Let it be just for you this one time. Give it a special place in your heart and mind and just let it be and think about how it feels after it’s gone and now it is only your memory forever. Feel free to share THAT present experience with me. I am doing this more and more these days and I am starting to feel more and more fulfilled because of it.
XO - Megan