While the lure of a fancy, Instagram-worthy vacation was strong (especially for a wedding photographer trying to keep up with the Joneses) and we could actually afford a great vacation this year, my heart pulled me in the opposite direction. I felt a yearning to simplify, do LESS and mostly to disconnect from my 24/7 job, screen time and to reconnect with my family and nature.

In my world of having two sets of children, ten years apart, I have the luxury of standing back to see my two older boys interacting while watching the younger ones play right beside them. It gives me flashbacks to when Andrew and Isaac (the older ones, 16 & 14) were the same ages as Finn and Rita (2 & 4) and enables me to have incredible perspective of the “it goes by so fast” epidemic of our too rushed/time wasted culture. I wanted a vacation that forced us to put down our devices. A vacation that released us from the “must happen right now” normalcy of our everyday…to have real conversation and lean into each other and live in the moment. I wanted to be forced to talk about the “behaviors” and “tantrums” and decide on solutions instead of turning on the TV to distract from them for a few more minutes of time to get stuff done or race off to the next activity on an over-packed trip.

All of this was painful.

It was painful to realize how many times a day I mindlessly reach for my phone and tap on the Instagram app even though I try so hard to be mindful and set limits.

It was painful to watch my kids cry and whine to go home because they wanted their favorite TV shows and internet connection.

It was painful to watch myself frantically trying to respond to text messages and emails from clients every time we drove “into town” where our precious phones worked while the little ones begged, “look at THAT Mommy! Are you LOOKING?!”

Only a day or two in, we caved and drove the 30 minutes to Pittsburgh to check the weather and Google some things…we also wanted to see the city. We spent half the time on our phones and I learned a new appreciation for the public restrooms of “non-Corona Virus” rural parks and public areas. With two cups of coffee down the hatch after a rough night on a terrible mattress, we found ourselves unable to appreciate the sweeping views from Mount Washington as Rita and I desperately needed to pee. (TMI, but reality!) We finally found a restroom in a Rite Aid and Rita peed on the floor literally in front of the door to the bathroom while waiting our turn. The fancy city turned out to be not so fancy after all and I was grateful to be back in our cabin WITH a bathroom.

While I wanted to disconnect, I had a hard line drawn in the sand between disconnecting and “roughing it.” I drove us the entire way across Pennsylvania to get to the one state park that both had availability the week we could go and had cabins with no WIFI or signal but WITH electricity, fridge, shower, bathroom, stove and microwave (I know, I know). Then bad moved to worse when the electricity went out for about 18 hours. Even I considered leaving with four days to go.

It was in this “It can’t get any worse” moment when there was a shift. The little kids stopped asking for TV and the older kids started going out fishing together almost all day every day. The whole family sat together around the fire while Marc cooked talking about this and that while the little ones played hide & seek amongst the trees. We started getting excited about hikes and row boats and muddy beaches with fishing possibilities. I leaned about Whopper Plopper fishing lures and we all experienced the weather with wonder and uncertainty without a weather app…and got rained on EVERY day. It was both frustrating and amazing all wrapped into one moment-by-moment little bundle of ease and beauty.

Once, I dropped Andrew and Isaac off fishing while getting a nap for Finn and Rita and a rain storm plowed through so ferociously and quickly that by the time I could jump in the car to go get them, it was over completely. Everything was soaked but the sky was bright blue again with perfect little puff ball clouds dancing amongst the swirling mist between trees shaking off their twinkling, wet leaves all joyful from the drink. Surprised they weren’t waiting at the pickup spot like drowned rats, I parked the car and hiked to the small lake hidden in the hills only to find them fishing away and only a little wet. When Isaac caught sight of me coming, he waived high above his head his big, handsome smile visible across the expanse of the small lake. Bewildered, I waved back and hiked closer. Once I was within ear shot, I yelled, “Didn’t you get that storm?! I was expecting you to be at the trail-head waiting!” Andrew said, “Oh yeah. We just sheltered under a tree until it was over.” I smiled to myself and congratulated their resourcefulness. I was one happy momma.

Unfortunately, on about day 4 or 5, the boys found that if they walked the short distance to the open plaground by our cabin, they could get just enough service on their phones to get and receive a few messages….and it was all over then. Suddenly, my bright-eyed Isaac turned back into the demanding, grumpy teenager I had been accustomed to before vacation. He only fished once or twice more and barely engaged with the family, complaining at every turn about going home. My heart was broken.

Andrew kept fishing but he wasn’t catching any more fish so he also lost interest and stopped going as much. They were willing to forsake the rest of vacation “away” to regularly walk to the park in hopes of having a notification to check and respond to rather than interact with family.

As cool as phones are and as much as we rely on them for many things these days, I can’t help but wonder if they are more evil than good. I certainly was grateful for the break but even I kept mine on my person most of the time to take pictures and videos. I brought my camera and a few lenses to take pictures but found that they never left the bag. I used my phone camera and gave myself that break too. As much as I LOVE taking pictures, it really was a nice break from it ALL and I was grateful for my phone for those moments.

Below is a video of our combined, patched together photos and videos of our time at Raccoon Creek State Park last week. I made it for us as a memory so some things may not have much meaning and I don’t expect anyone to actually watch it to the end. But, here it is. This is what we did for 7 days by ourselves, on our own for the first time….well, ever. Enjoy! XO – Megan